21 Sep 2016
A Guide To Hook Ups
If you’re new to the age of “hook ups”, you may not know what to do. You may have no idea where to start, or where to go from the start point. The biggest thing is that many people have misconceptions about hooking up in the first place. Really, all it’s about is following your basic human desires and having fun. It’s not that complicated. As long as you’re up for a good time, you’ll do just fine.
That being said, there are of course some guidelines that can be given to you. These are particularly helpful if you’re new to the scene. If you’ve had the occasional hook up, you might want to consider scanning this list as well. It might give you pointers.
The first thing that needs to be said is that you need to relax. If you’re feeling bad about wanting a hook up, you should know that it’s totally normal. You’re likely nervous about approaching it, but try not to be. There are many people who are looking for a good time and nothing more. You won’t be judged for wanting the same thing. You don’t want to worry too much because your nerves will likely shift to anxiety. You might start second guessing yourself. You’re not going to have a good time if you’re worrying too much. So leave your worries at the door.
Before you meet your potential hook up, you want to make sure that you’re clean and presentable. You don’t have to go all out, like a makeover or full body waxing. But make sure your hair is clean. Your teeth are brushed. Make sure your clothes don’t have stains or tears. You want to look good and make a good impression. The most important part you want to tend to is your private area. After all, the date is really about that anyway. It should be inviting. You’ll also want to dress comfortably. You don’t want to spend the night out in an outfit that doesn’t fit right. You want the ability to move around easily. You don’t know the course the night is going to take. It’s impossible to predict. Be on the safe side and wear something you enjoy.
After you’ve met up and talked a bit, go somewhere private. You don’t want to be caught in the act by family or roommates, right? That might be embarrassing for both you and your hook up. You also want to be somewhere safe and comfortable. It would be unfortunate to have your hook up ruined by an in-conducive environment. Now, getting caught in public by strangers is a different story. But that’s up to the two of you and what you’re both comfortable with. There can be a real thrill in the risk of getting caught.
That brings us to the final point: Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. You still have the right to say no. You also have the right to talk away. If your hook up is pushing your personal boundaries, walk away. You can always find someone else who is going to respect when you say “no” or “stop”. If you change your mind half way through, you are allowed to say so. You don’t have to feel guilty or obligated to continue.
Again, the main purpose of hooking up is to have fun. So make sure you’re having fun. As long as you’re both enjoying yourself, that’s all that really matters.
21 Sep 2016
Can You Have Casual Sex Without Feelings
Let’s evaluate some of the ways that you can keep emotions out of your casual sex life.
1. Give Into The Moments
As mentioned, the biggest part of casual sex is just giving into the moments and letting things happen. You want to let each moment lead wherever it wants to go. You want to give into body rhythm and animal passions. You want to give into desires. You don’t want to over think or consider the out come too much. You’ll ruin what could be a beautiful moment by thinking about the moments after.
2. Strongly Consider & Evaluate Yourself
You know yourself better than anyone else. Anyone can give you generic statements about casual sex, but at the end of the day only you will know if it’s right for you. If you’ve never tried it, you probably should before ruling it off your list of possibilities. It might open a whole new world for you that you would have never otherwise considered. If you’re the type of person who gets attached easily, you’re really going to want to consider avoiding casual encounters. A person who is looking for casual relations doesn’t want to feel like someone is expecting more of them.
3. Be Open
You have to be open and honest with your interests and intentions. You can’t dance around what you’re looking for. Casual sex requires a little more of a out going person because it’s a very upfront activity. You have to set ground rules with your hook up. There doesn’t have to be a lot of dialogue to do this. It can be in the moments as they’re happening and not ahead of time. But, most importantly, you want to set boundaries for yourself. Avoid getting attached by reminding yourself what you’re doing and why.
4. The Right Reasons
You don’t want to get involved in casual sex for the wrong reasons. These reasons range from making someone jealous to avoiding attachment to another person. The right reason to get into casual sex is for the fun of it. For the relaxing and attachment free relations. To satisfy your basic needs in a primal way. Casual sex is a way of enjoying yourself. If you’ve got other motives or hidden intentions, you’re going to rob yourself of that same enjoyment.
Whether or not you can have casual sex without feelings is entirely up to you. It’s a matter of what you’re really looking for and what you really want.
by fab3218905645 in casual sex