Why Extramarital Affairs Are The 51st Shade Of Grey

casual-sex-dating-4If extramarital affairs were simple, then a greater majority of married men and women would have more than a wandering eye. You’d be more encouraged to give in to your lustful desires, unmindful of other people’s expectations.

But then again, an extramarital affair can be quite complicated. Neither black nor white, it’s a shade too uncertain and beyond other people’s comfort zone. On the superlative, it could be reminiscent of those clandestine meetings you’ve read about in Fifty Shades of Grey. Like the characters Christian and Ana, you’d find these clandestine meet-ups a bit exciting, a bit scary, all because you never know what to expect from one meet-up to the next.

All of these happen in private, as you just can’t afford to be too exposed in public. You are lovers who shy away from the public eye and prefer not be in the limelight. This allows you to have your own private tryst, free from the probing eyes and ears of others. This renders you free to do the unimaginable, instead of conforming to what’s expected of you.

1But what can you expect from an extramarital affair that’s a level above Fifty Shades of Grey? Before any of you get a rude awakening, here’s what every clandestine lover needs to know:

1. Such an erotic affair requires you to choose your new partner carefully. Be wise in making a selection. Take time to get to know and assess a potential candidate. Although many may have the body and appeal for it, not everyone has that “it” factor for being singled out.

2. Part of the assessment means to ponder whether you’d be better off with someone who’s young and single, or with someone who’s older but just as attached as you are. Obviously, the latter presents less complications since you’re in for a no-strings-attached type of relationship.

3. It prompts you to set your own rules. You must define the relationship as to how you want it to be. Will be it be a purely sexual and non-romantic one? Who will be dominant, and who will be submissive? Are you open to spanking and other sadomasochistic behavior? What bed scenes and sex tricks are you willing to play? As a whole, determine how intimately you want to get involved, if at all.

4. Remember: It’s not a verses-and-roses type of romance you’ve signed up for. Every now and then, you may be gifted lavishly with unusual surprises and exotic toys but that’s as far as it goes. Don’t forget: You’re dealing with a master at seduction who definitely knows his or her game.

5. Expect that, eventually, you too may tire of playing the power game. You may find out that you’re not compatible after all, and this brings the affair to an end as it was meant to be.

6. At the beginning and end of any clandestine affair, you observe a silent rule that you’re forbidden to discuss anything about it. Fair enough, right? Remember: You lose out when you reveal too much to the wrong people. It could devastate another person or lead to someone’s untimely divorce.

7. Finally, there’s the issue of attachment. Not set in stone or totally in black and white, there’s a grey area to extramarital affairs which few people tend to acknowledge, and that’s the possibility of falling in love. It would be a whole lot simpler if neither fell for the other, but things like these happen unexpectedly. Not as simple as you first thought it to be, that’s when an extramarital affair gets all too complicated…