There’s a wide misconception about casual sex that it’s easy. Many people believe that no work has to be put into the process and it just happens. A simple text or website message and you’re in bed together. But there’s more to it than just the idea. It takes effort, like everything else. Granted, it’s not the same amount of effort as trying to impress a future wife or husband. But it still takes some amount of appealing to the other person.
1. The first step you’ve got to take when you’re setting up a connection is being nice. Even if you’re only planning for a one time encounter, you don’t want to leave a negative impression. You don’t want the other person to feel used, abused, then tossed away. You don’t have to get flowers or anything, but at least take the time to make the other person feel appreciated. This can be as simple as telling them how much you enjoyed meeting them the morning after. You also don’t want to be jerk after you’re finished hooking up. If it’s the middle of the night or early in the AM, don’t kick the person out. Let them crash. Even if it’s not what you had in mind. It’s polite. If you’re at their house and you want to sneak out, that’s up to you. But make sure you’re leaving a note. Again, a simple “it was nice to meet you” is good enough.
2. You’re also going to want to be honest. Let’s be realistic. You don’t want to lie to someone and say you’re looking for more than you are. It won’t take them long to figure out you were lying. Again, your hook up would only end up feeling used and abused. In fact, more so because they’d feel like they were mislead by false pretences. Honesty goes a long way. If the person you’re interested isn’t looking for the same thing as you, you can just move on. No harm, no foul.
3. The best part about casual sex is that you can forget all about having a “real connection” with someone. You can focus on animal attraction. You can focus on how they make you feel as a chemical reaction. But, many people tend to still consider compatibility. This won’t serve you any good with a casual hook up. You need to ditch romantic emotions and nurture your basic human instinct. You shouldn’t feel guilty or worry about the repercussions, either. If you’re both having fun and no one is getting hurt, that is all that matters.
4. You can never be too safe, regardless of the level of intimacy. This means condoms. You may also want to do a little recon work and drop hints about previous encounters. If your hook up doesn’t always wear protection, you might second guess what you’re doing in bed with them. You’ll want to use a lot of common sense when it comes to your safety. You don’t want to end up with some sort of disease from a one night stand. Especially if you didn’t even get their name.
5. On that note, take advantage of your hook up not knowing what you’re normally like. Be experimental and have a little fun. As long as both parties consent, of course.
The whole point of casual sex is to fill your basic human needs without any attachments.